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Category = - Men's Entertainment Humorous Quips - Adult Sex Jokes

Your Internet Sexual Dysfunction Resource Guide
You Might Wish To Reconsider Using These Poems

Poems to get your Valentine in the Mood!

10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk
But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.

9. Our love will never become cold and hollow
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store
In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.

7. This feels so good, it feels so right
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.

6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class
Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.

5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished
But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!

4. Through all the things that came to pass
Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass.

3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie
I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".

2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!

1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister,
you should check out the one that I gave to your sister!

How To Meet A Woman Online?
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Personality Test This quiz uncovers your fundamental personality type and gives you insight on how to better relate to others and improve your love life!

Purity Level Test Find out how pure or wild you really are! This test will be able to compare you with thousands of others. Find out how you compare.

Self Esteem Test There are many ingredients of sex appeal. Some of them are beyond your control, in the mind and chemistry of your prospective mate.

What's your I.Q.? Discover and Compare Your IQ. There is no penalty for a wrong answer so go ahead and make your best guess if you are unsure.

Tips To Last Longer In Bed

Are you tired of being grilled with questions like, "is that it? Are you done?" Good sex is not all about how long you can last, but racing to the finish line is the number one complaint women have about their men. Here are a few tips that can turn any minuteman into a marathon lover.

Get To Know Yourself

Practice makes perfect. If you masturbate concentrating on prolonging your orgasm you will be able to repeat the performance in bed. Whack off as long as you can, as often as you can. Bring yourself as close to orgasm and stop just long enough that you can start all over again and bring yourself back to the same level of ecstasy, then start all over again.

Make a game of seeing how many times as you can bring yourself to the edge without coming and pay attention to the signs and sensations your body gives you that you're about to come. It's possible to train yourself to withhold an orgasm at will, using this method alone.

Foreplay Is A Good Thing Even though it doesn't really help you to last longer, it can seem like you have lasted longer if you spend more time on foreplay- with her. Make sure that you have touched every square inch of her body before you even lick her pussy. Extend foreplay to the point of driving you both crazy. She'll be a lot more appreciative, even if you do only make it thirty seconds in her pussy.

Be careful about receiving too much foreplay yourself. Every stimulation your cock receives is a queue to get ready to cum, but only in a constant timeline. If it's possible, get her to give you head before you practice your foreplay skills on her. That way you'll have had a little break before she's begging for your cock.

The Best Positions

Everyone has different preferences for positions. There are some that you know will make you come fast and others that seem to just keep you hard. Choose positions that you know aren't your favorite first and when you are finally ready to cum (or just about exhausted) switch to your favorite.

Most men cum quicker doggy style but last longer with missionary and sex lying down on one side (spoon like). Cowgirl style is 50/50- it's strictly a personal preference. Some guys last longer when the woman is on top, some blow their wad as soon as she settles into the saddle.

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Naked Women Big Boobs - we're talking huge boobies here!
Humorous satire page featuring sites and pictures of hotties with the largest boobs in the milky way galaxy!

Condoms Are Your Friend

Despite all the hype and the advertising claims about increased sensitivity, nothing cuts the sensation of sex more than a condom. If you still have trouble coming too fast with one on, wear two. But always remember to put ono the jacket. You never know what you could catch.

Stay Focused Danielson

Don't let self-fulfilling prophecies work against you, make them work for you.

Remember, sexual stimulation is entirely in your mind. It might be hard to think so when a hot chick is riding you like a bronco, but it's true. You don't have to think about baseball or your grandmother naked (although those both work), but concentrating on not having an orgasm too soon does work, just stay focused. It has to do with the complex relationship our conscious mind has with our unconscious mind.

If you truly convince yourself that you aren't going to cum, you won't. It also works in reverse, so be careful- if you think you're going to cum too soon, you will.

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